Fried's comments on The Apprentice

Clearly, if there was an Apprentice series for chickens, I would win it.  That is because I am top chicken anyway so the others don't stand a chance.

I have just started watching the new series of The Apprentice.  If you have not watched the episode yet, then there are spoilers in this post, so you had better log off until you have seen it.

I would like to focus on some of the stupid things that human beings say.  In the space of five minutes the following quotes came up:

Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit if there are footprints on the moon.

I believe I can be the champion thoroughbred that this process requires.

I’m best of breed within my industry.

My social life, my personal life don’t mean anything to me.  I live to work, it’s all I do.

Underneath these glasses is a core of steel.

I take cutthroat and ruthless to a new level.

The fear of failure drives me every day.

They are all stupid.

The sky can still be the limit because the moon is not the sky.  The sky is the sky and is around the moon, and the earth and all the other planets out there.  So it is bigger than the moon.

The man that said this was a human being, not something that is taken to a show and preened and gets a certificate.  The quote might work if a chicken had said it because that is what happens to chickens sometimes.

Similar to above.  He's not going to win Crufts for goodness sake (or the chicken equivalent).

The woman who said this is a sad person.  You have to have a personal life so that you can look after chickens.  Or more precisely, be ruled over by chickens during the time that you are at home.

The man that said this didn't then disappear into a phone booth.  This quote might work for Superman but not for the dude who said it.

Again, the man that said this didn't then carry on with 'Ahoy me hearties'.  I don't think he was called Jack Sparrow either.

You should not be afraid of failing.  It is failing that makes you who you are; you can grow into a better chicken.  I don't always reach the branch when I try to jump for it, so I try to jump higher the next time.  If I still don't get there, I'll just go and get something from the feeding station.  Job done.

That is not to say that all human beings are stupid.  Just, as highlighted above, some of them.