I am posting a picture of a successful tomato plant. Just like people put pictures of what they want to look like on the fridge when they diet, I hope that this will encourage success.
Tuesday 31 May 2011
Tomato Plants
I have today planted out the two tomato plants that I was given by a friend at work. My success rate with tomatoes in the past has not been great so I am trying again, this time by growing them upside down. The chickens have not helped either so the plants are currently outside, upside down, surrounded by chicken wire.
I am posting a picture of a successful tomato plant. Just like people put pictures of what they want to look like on the fridge when they diet, I hope that this will encourage success.
I am posting a picture of a successful tomato plant. Just like people put pictures of what they want to look like on the fridge when they diet, I hope that this will encourage success.
Egg's eggs
It appears that I have been doing Egg an injustice. Over the last few days we have been getting some dark coloured eggs which I was crediting as being Baked's. However, it would seem that Egg is responsible for these and Baked has not laid anything at all. This is only because of the investigative skills of the OH who has been watching the girls today as they have been going in and out of the Cube and seeing what eggs are there after they have been in.
So, I do apologise, Egg. I did think that you would lay lighter eggs than that, and this is why I didn't think the darker ones were yours.
So, I do apologise, Egg. I did think that you would lay lighter eggs than that, and this is why I didn't think the darker ones were yours.
Monday 30 May 2011
Tonight I will be mainly ...
... sleeping in the eggbox with Baked. Mum had to do a double take when she saw it.
Spoon x
Spoon x
An update on treats
We are pleased to report that there have indeed been more treats today. Mum opened the shed and the garage especially for us because it was raining really hard. Of course, these belong to us anyway (like the garden), but we do have to rely on Mum or Dad to open them for us. We especially liked going in the garage because Dad cleaned it last week and the floor was nice and clean for us to do our poos on. There have also been mealworms, grapes and sweetcorn. Ooh and a bit of mushroom stroganoff left over from last night. We liked that a lot, because cooked mushrooms are a bit like slugs, just less slimey.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Slugs
... are even more disgusting when they are half eaten and the remaining half is hanging off Spoon's beak. She seemed quite keen to have some mealworms out of my hand this morning, but I had to refuse because of said slug being present. Not a pleasant sight.
Egg's eggs
Seem to be invisible. After laying her first one there has been nothing since then. She is a bit of a law unto herself so she will probably lay twenty in one go in the near future. Alright, I know that this is not possible, but then, as I say, she is a law unto herself and you never know, she might be the first to do so.
Sunday 29 May 2011
The Highwaymen
Poor show. They really should have got through to the semi-finals. We liked them a lot. So we will post another picture of them.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Handbags
Dear Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon
I don't expect you to understand about the handbag thing. Dad doesn't either. But I would like to point out that we are not talking about any old handbag here, we are talking about a Radley handbag, and that's quite important (those that understand about handbags would confirm this). I am hoping that in the future their signature bag will have a chicken on it somewhere, in which case I would buy two; one to use and one to keep wrapped up for ever in perfect condition. In the meantime, I will have to make do with one of the others in their range, or possibly a pair of their shoes......
Mum x
I don't expect you to understand about the handbag thing. Dad doesn't either. But I would like to point out that we are not talking about any old handbag here, we are talking about a Radley handbag, and that's quite important (those that understand about handbags would confirm this). I am hoping that in the future their signature bag will have a chicken on it somewhere, in which case I would buy two; one to use and one to keep wrapped up for ever in perfect condition. In the meantime, I will have to make do with one of the others in their range, or possibly a pair of their shoes......
Mum x
Exam Marking
Apparently she does this because it means that she can use the money to buy us more treats and nice things. And also something known as a handbag. This is an item we are not familiar with. She tells us that it is something that she carries her everyday things around in, like money and make-up and tissues and her diary. We are also not familiar with these items. Why on earth is there the need to carry anything around with you and why did she not include chicken treats in that list - surely that should be the first 'everyday' thing that she has with her. We don't carry anything around with us other than our beautiful personalities. That's all we need.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Exam Marking
Mum has been doing exam marking. AGAIN. We know this is the case because:
(a) treats have been limited today, or very rushed when given
(b) Mum has been in her pyjamas all day (her favourites - the spotty ones)
(c) she has just come out and told us that she has finished her allocation
This means that tomorrow we should be inundated with treats lots of times and she should spend more time with us.
We will of course update you on this one, and will be going to our union if this does not happen.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
(a) treats have been limited today, or very rushed when given
(b) Mum has been in her pyjamas all day (her favourites - the spotty ones)
(c) she has just come out and told us that she has finished her allocation
This means that tomorrow we should be inundated with treats lots of times and she should spend more time with us.
We will of course update you on this one, and will be going to our union if this does not happen.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Saturday 28 May 2011
To our followers
We know you are out there - because the funny number counter goes up at the bottom of the blog (and we know it's not just Mum looking at what she's been writing). But we don't hear from you much :( and we'd like to (Dad, Graeme and Debbie, you are an exception; we know you've written stuff) so please do!
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Football
Dad gets almost as excited about football as we do about grapes (and cheese) (and mealworms). The only difference is that we make a contented clucking noise and he screams at the top of his voice. To the rest of the street; sorry about that.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Following instructions is generally a good idea
So when it says that you need Adobe Reader to fill in the form because Reader doesn't work it does actually mean that. Opening the form in Reader and pressing lots of buttons hoping that the calculation element works doesn't work. Neither does swearing at it.
Friday 27 May 2011
Jammie or Toffee?
It's a tough one.
The chickens don't really like either option. They're a bit hard and crunchy on the outside and too sticky on the inside for them to cope with.
Interconnecting Doors
If you were in a hotel room and there was an interconnecting door to the room next door would you:
(a) leave it, it's only useful if you have your children in the room next door
(b) think about trying it and then leave it because the other side is probably going to be locked anyway
(c) try it, find the other side is open, and walk in on the person next door who is asleep in bed
No prizes for whatever option you chose but whoever was in the room next door when my friend, Moira, took option (c), sorry about that. And sorry Moira for posting it to the world, but I really couldn't resist. It made me laugh a lot.
Chickens obviously don't have that problem since they all bundle in the same house anyway. And they would have problems with locks, they're a bit fiddly.
(a) leave it, it's only useful if you have your children in the room next door
(b) think about trying it and then leave it because the other side is probably going to be locked anyway
(c) try it, find the other side is open, and walk in on the person next door who is asleep in bed
No prizes for whatever option you chose but whoever was in the room next door when my friend, Moira, took option (c), sorry about that. And sorry Moira for posting it to the world, but I really couldn't resist. It made me laugh a lot.
Chickens obviously don't have that problem since they all bundle in the same house anyway. And they would have problems with locks, they're a bit fiddly.
The Highway Code 169
"Do not hold up a long queue of traffic, especially if you are driving a large or slow-moving vehicle. Check your mirrors frequently, and if necessary, pull in where it is safe and let traffic pass."
So to the driver in the nice tractor with the yellow trailer that was a bit wobbly that I and about 30 drivers had to follow for ages on the way home tonight, who passed a very nice lay-by that was huge, perhaps you would like to take note of the above for future reference.
Just a thought.
Thursday 26 May 2011
Exam Marking
We know that Mum is exam marking. There have been no treats for a while. When she is in the zone she forgets about us :( Luckily we know that Dad is free so we are looking forward to treats from him.
Fried, Baked , Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked , Egg and Spoon xxxx
Wednesday 25 May 2011
Why is it ...
... that in an eggbox that would take three chickens (well, two definitely), all of the eggs end up being laid at the same end?
Egg's comment on bedtime
Today, because I laid my first egg, I thought I would get a head start at bedtime. Baked was already in the eggbox so I thought that I would sleep with my head through the egghole so that I would be ready in the morning.
Egg's comment on the one that was fired
If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. It was your fault. But at least you did say 'thank you for the opportunity'. You've been brought up well.
Egg's comment on The Apprentice
I am allowed to comment today because I laid my first egg this morning. Sir Alan would be proud of me. Perhaps I could try to sell it for lots of money. Maybe on Reg-hen-t Street?
Today they need to do something with beauty products. We don't need any of those because we are all beautiful chickens. Mum might do though. (Only joking Mum).
That tanning spray looks like the anti-peck spray that Dad put on me once. It did give me a bit of a tan but it smelt horrible and didn't really work. But at least it wasn't as expensive as the stuff they are trying to sell.
The winning team got a really great prize. I wonder if they are going to learn the Snail Dance?
I realise that we need to make an apology. We have been calling Alan Sugar Sir Alan. Of course he is no longer this person. He is now Lord Sugar. Many grovellings and you can have my egg if you like.
Today they need to do something with beauty products. We don't need any of those because we are all beautiful chickens. Mum might do though. (Only joking Mum).
That tanning spray looks like the anti-peck spray that Dad put on me once. It did give me a bit of a tan but it smelt horrible and didn't really work. But at least it wasn't as expensive as the stuff they are trying to sell.
The winning team got a really great prize. I wonder if they are going to learn the Snail Dance?
I realise that we need to make an apology. We have been calling Alan Sugar Sir Alan. Of course he is no longer this person. He is now Lord Sugar. Many grovellings and you can have my egg if you like.
Tuesday 24 May 2011
I'd like to be able to go to bed on time but ...
... it's really difficult when Baked decides that she wants to sleep in the doorway of the Cube rather than in the eggbox where she normally goes. She wasn't being horrible or anything, but she and I have had run-ins in the past and I didn't really want to risk it - the last time I tried to get past her at night she pecked me and chased me out. Luckily Dad had put a nice bar in the pen so I was sleeping on that instead. Thankfully when Mum came to check on us she opened the back of the Cube and put Baked in the eggbox so I could sneak in to my normal place. I hope that Baked doesn't make a habit of this.....
Spoon x
Spoon x
Blootac
What is that stuff? We have been trying all day to get the top off the feeders and we can't. Doesn't Mum know that it is one of our Chicken Rights to be able to get to the feed from both the bottom AND the top of the feeder?
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
CSI
This is another of my favourite programmes. I'm a bit partial to investigations. After all, I am still trying to work out when Egg is going to lay her first egg and I could do with some detectives to help me with that one.
The chickens would like to point out, however, that it should really be Chicken Scene Investigation. They think they would be really good at working things out since they know exactly when treats are going to appear (when the kitchen door opens) and how to get to them the best way (running or jumping for grapes or picking at a piece of cabbids). They would also like to go to New York or Miami or Las Vegas.
It's a popular series, I am sure the chicken thing would work.
Jumping offence
Sorry, that should have been jumping a fence. Both of which Spoon is guilty of. At six o'clock in the morning. She has now discovered the joys of jumping on the fence (there is probably a posh word for it which escapes me at the moment) which divides the decking and the dustbath. I don't know why; she has just thought about doing it this week. It was quite a shock, especially since I am not really fully awake at that time in the morning....
Monday 23 May 2011
If you are not sure where you are going ...
... then please do not stop randomly because you think you are at the house that you want to get to and then realise that actually you are not and move off slowly and then slow down again and then drive really slowly until you get to a lay-by and are able to go in there so you can check.
Work out your route BEFORE you set off. Or get satnav in your van.
Work out your route BEFORE you set off. Or get satnav in your van.
Wind
Following on from the previous post, we would like to make it clear that we are talking about the weather, and not the other ... we did like the beans, but Mum says she is not giving us any more.
We don't really like wind. It blows us all over the place and ruffles our feathers up when we have just preened them. However, on a positive note, it blows the top off the no-waste feeders which means that we can stick our heads right inside them and get to the tasty bits that way. However, we have been informed by Mum that she is going to be using something called blootac so that it won't happen again. We are not sure what blootac is, and we are going to try our best to get the top off anyway.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
We don't really like wind. It blows us all over the place and ruffles our feathers up when we have just preened them. However, on a positive note, it blows the top off the no-waste feeders which means that we can stick our heads right inside them and get to the tasty bits that way. However, we have been informed by Mum that she is going to be using something called blootac so that it won't happen again. We are not sure what blootac is, and we are going to try our best to get the top off anyway.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
The verdict is in
The chickens do like Baked Beans. But only if they are ...
I put out two bowls of leftover beans and took in two empty bowls. I know it was the chickens because:
(a) the sauce was left; if it would have been next door's cats they would also have licked the sauce out
(b) stop reading now if you are squeamish
(c) the chickens have the squits
I don't think that I will be feeding them beans again.
Sunday 22 May 2011
We might have lied about the potato
We tried it again today and quite liked it. It disappeared in less than a minute. We might also like Baked Beans but the jury is out on that one at the moment.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Football
We think that we would be really good at football. Dad watches it a lot, so we know how it works. There is a little round thing that they have to run for and get off the other players. We do exactly the same thing with grapes. I suppose the only difference is that footballers don't eat the ball when they get it.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Chickens' Got Talent
We think that ITV is missing out on a trick. Forget Britain's Got Talent, we think that they should put on Chickens' Got Talent instead. If they did, this is what we would do:
Fried - I can jump really high for things so I would have lots of branches full of leaves around the stage and I would jump and pull them all off.
Baked - I would have lots of soft toys that look like Spoon all over the stage and I would go round and peck them all.
Spoon - I would do a magic trick. I would disappear really quickly because Baked is bound to be around somewhere.
Egg - I would lay my first egg.
Then we would all show how well we had trained Mum and Dad by getting them to come out and feed us grapes.
We would ask Auntie Yanna to play the piano as an accompaniment because apparently she's really good.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried - I can jump really high for things so I would have lots of branches full of leaves around the stage and I would jump and pull them all off.
Baked - I would have lots of soft toys that look like Spoon all over the stage and I would go round and peck them all.
Spoon - I would do a magic trick. I would disappear really quickly because Baked is bound to be around somewhere.
Egg - I would lay my first egg.
Then we would all show how well we had trained Mum and Dad by getting them to come out and feed us grapes.
We would ask Auntie Yanna to play the piano as an accompaniment because apparently she's really good.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Why chickens are like old men
1. Find a comfortable place to settle down in.
2. Just close eyes 'for a quick snooze'.
3. Within seconds, head has dropped onto chest.
4. Snoring, or other satisfied noises, begins.
5. A little bit of shuffling around at intervals occurs, but eyes remain shut.
6. If there appears to be the offer of food, they 'were not really asleep, just resting their eyes and yes I would like a snack please'.
7. Process is repeated.
2. Just close eyes 'for a quick snooze'.
3. Within seconds, head has dropped onto chest.
4. Snoring, or other satisfied noises, begins.
5. A little bit of shuffling around at intervals occurs, but eyes remain shut.
6. If there appears to be the offer of food, they 'were not really asleep, just resting their eyes and yes I would like a snack please'.
7. Process is repeated.
A new addition to things we like
We would like to add the following to our favourite foods.
Egg especially likes grated cheese; it doesn't matter what type really, just cheese.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Dr Who
We are trying really hard to understand what is happening in Dr Who. But to be completely honest, we can't. We have tried asking Mum and Dad, but they keep muttering "it's not what it was like when I was a child" and "where are the daleks?"
This week there was something called 'flesh'. You have the original people, but to protect them from acid, you use it to regenerate new workers if they have an accident. Because of a freak storm, they have now turned rogue and are chasing the original workers around the fortress, whilst listening to Dusty Springfield. Even the doctor has duplicated as well.
If there are any Dr Who fans out there who could explain what is going on in the series, then please post a comment to let us know. Mum and Dad would be most grateful as well.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Saturday 21 May 2011
Auntie Yanna
Auntie Yanna came to visit us today. Mum tells us that she is also going to get chickens so she was looking to see what it is like to be owned by chickens.
She really liked our mansion and gave us some grapes. She also bought us some cherries, which Mum and Dad have never given us before, and we like them very much.
We like her a lot.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
She really liked our mansion and gave us some grapes. She also bought us some cherries, which Mum and Dad have never given us before, and we like them very much.
We like her a lot.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Friday 20 May 2011
Happy Headless Chicken Day!
No, I am not being horrible to the girls.
Today really IS the celebration of Mike the Headless Chicken.
Check out his story here - http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/index.php
Today really IS the celebration of Mike the Headless Chicken.
Check out his story here - http://www.miketheheadlesschicken.org/index.php
Igor
I have a friend who is a Russian spy.
He told me last night that he is going to get 20 chickens.
I am not sure whether this means that he actually IS going to get 20 chickens or if this is a code for something else.
I have left my 'Spying for Girls' handbook in my other handbag so I am a bit stuck now. If anyone also has a Russian spy for a friend and can help with a translation if it is necessary, I would be most grateful.
He told me last night that he is going to get 20 chickens.
I am not sure whether this means that he actually IS going to get 20 chickens or if this is a code for something else.
I have left my 'Spying for Girls' handbook in my other handbag so I am a bit stuck now. If anyone also has a Russian spy for a friend and can help with a translation if it is necessary, I would be most grateful.
Exit Procedures
Baked and Spoon came out of the Cube first today - together - without fighting! I am a happy Mummy! Egg followed, brought up at the rear by Fried. Dad is going to sort out their treats today.
Thursday 19 May 2011
Nature in Art
I have just spent a very enjoyable afternoon at Nature in Art and would like to take this opportunity to recommend it to anyone who might be in Gloucestershire. Different artists exhibit there every week and there are some pieces that are there most of the time, some made out of recycled material. I particularly liked this one, because I think it looks like a chicken.
If you are interested, here is their website ...
Enjoy!
Wednesday 18 May 2011
Spoon's comment on the one that was fired
At least this one said "thank you" this time. Their manners seem to be improving. However, it was definitely the right one, because there was clearly a lack of organisation going on. His comments on the Yellow Pages would also seem to confirm the correct verdict.
Spoon's comment on The Apprentice
I can see why some of the candidates were a bit confused today. There were some quite difficult words in the list of things to look for - with physalis and cloche seeming to cause the most problems.
What I don't get is that surely they have the latest phones which must mean that they have access to the internet. Could they not simply type the word into Google to find out what it is? Even we know what physalis is and think that it would probably taste very delicious if Mum bought it for us. We might have struggled with cloche a bit, but we'd have given it a good go and wouldn't have gone to the most expensive place to buy it.
Also, we would like to say that we would not stay at that hotel. It would remind us too much of the crinkly cabbage.
What I don't get is that surely they have the latest phones which must mean that they have access to the internet. Could they not simply type the word into Google to find out what it is? Even we know what physalis is and think that it would probably taste very delicious if Mum bought it for us. We might have struggled with cloche a bit, but we'd have given it a good go and wouldn't have gone to the most expensive place to buy it.
Also, we would like to say that we would not stay at that hotel. It would remind us too much of the crinkly cabbage.
A note from Baked
I am trying hard to be good and not peck too much. However, it is quite difficult and Mum does still tell me off because I do try to get a few pecks in thinking she is not looking.
I am a bit confused tonight. I thought that we had all worked out where we were sleeping and it seems to have changed a bit. I am in the nest box, as always, because I have bullied everyone into letting me sleep there. They tell me that they never slept there anyway, but that can't be true, can it? However, the other three have moved around from where they were for the last few nights. Fried is now at the front of the Cube with Egg and Spoon behind her (Spoon being right at the back). This did confuse Mum a bit when she came to check on us because she expected Spoon to be at the front and she had to do a double take!
I think that they have done it just to give Mum a bit of variety.
I am a bit confused tonight. I thought that we had all worked out where we were sleeping and it seems to have changed a bit. I am in the nest box, as always, because I have bullied everyone into letting me sleep there. They tell me that they never slept there anyway, but that can't be true, can it? However, the other three have moved around from where they were for the last few nights. Fried is now at the front of the Cube with Egg and Spoon behind her (Spoon being right at the back). This did confuse Mum a bit when she came to check on us because she expected Spoon to be at the front and she had to do a double take!
I think that they have done it just to give Mum a bit of variety.
Tea Sir Alan?
We have decided that we are going to turn the garden into a special area to grow chamomile flowers in. We think we could make lots of money ....
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Dropping people off
On my way to work this morning, I saw somebody being dropped off. This in itself is not unusual; I am sure that it happens all the time, and since it was in the morning, they were probably going to work.
However, this person was being dropped off from a LORRY which was stopped on a CORNER OF A ROUNDABOUT in a REALLY STUPID POSITION and so everybody else on the road had to take some kind of evasive action to avoid it. I don't use capital letters very often in my writing. In the same way as when I am talking I tend not to shout. But I do feel like shouting a little bit about the SILLY lorry driver who thought it was a good idea to stop there.
Rant over.
Chickens would never stop on the road like that. They'd find a safer place to do their drop offs.
However, this person was being dropped off from a LORRY which was stopped on a CORNER OF A ROUNDABOUT in a REALLY STUPID POSITION and so everybody else on the road had to take some kind of evasive action to avoid it. I don't use capital letters very often in my writing. In the same way as when I am talking I tend not to shout. But I do feel like shouting a little bit about the SILLY lorry driver who thought it was a good idea to stop there.
Rant over.
Chickens would never stop on the road like that. They'd find a safer place to do their drop offs.
Tuesday 17 May 2011
The snail dance
One snail.
Four chickens.
One chicken has snail.
Three chickens chase it to get snail.
Put it to music and it would rival Torvill and Dean's Bolero.
Four chickens.
One chicken has snail.
Three chickens chase it to get snail.
Put it to music and it would rival Torvill and Dean's Bolero.
Judge Judy
Another person who I am a particular fan of is Judge Judy. After feeding the chickens grapes when I get in, I settle down to watch a few episodes of Judge Judy while I'm sorting through my emails or eating my tea (or both at the same time, sometimes).
She's awesome and always knows exactly what to say. My particular favourites are "On a good day you're not as smart as I am on a bad day" and "Um is not an answer" (she uses that one a lot).
The chickens also like her because when she stares at people she looks like a velociraptor.
Digging to Australia
Following on from the previous post about the garden, the latest trend seems to be a competition between the girls to see who can dig the deepest hole. This might be because they have heard that my brother lives in Australia and are thinking of popping in to see him, or simply that there are some really juicy worms down there. Either way, I almost broke my ankle this morning going to let them out, in what resembled a large meteor hole. The garden is definitely theirs.
Apples
I was right about the apples. They were all gone when I got home. Today the girls have cabbids hanging from the table. There's more than half a cabbids there so it should last them more than a day. But then they are chickens, so maybe not.
Monday 16 May 2011
Chickens vs Garden
I understand that the chickens have already made a comment regarding the garden. I would like to add my side of the story.
Once upon a time (as all good fairytales start), I had a lovely garden. The decking was new, the plants and shrubs were lovingly planted surrounded by gravel with some railway sleepers making a pathway towards the garage. Later on, a shed was added, to house the garden furniture which came out on a few occasions every year (i.e. when it was hot).
Then along came the chickens. They added sparkle to my life and chaos to my garden.
The decking showed signs of poop, the shrubs slowly deteriorated as the chickens ate them, and the gravel moved mysteriously round the garden as the chickens scrabbled away looking for worms. To be fair, two of the shrubs did actually die as a result of a particularly cold winter and I was responsible for the death of another by over-pruning it. And the chickens (for some unexplainable reason) do not eat box bushes, so they are still there.
So, I replaced the demised plants with more box bushes (nice triangular ones in pots) and two plastic bushes, which if you didn't know, look just like the real thing. I have also been able to add two Buddha nightlights to the garden which are very appropriate considering my job and look quite spooky at night. The gravel is now mixed in with bark chippings so that the chickens have more places to scrabble in.
I still have a nice garden. It's just a bit different from what it looked like before. And now I share it with the chickens.
On reflection, I don't share it at all. It now belongs to them. I just happen to use it to hang the washing in on odd occasions.
Once upon a time (as all good fairytales start), I had a lovely garden. The decking was new, the plants and shrubs were lovingly planted surrounded by gravel with some railway sleepers making a pathway towards the garage. Later on, a shed was added, to house the garden furniture which came out on a few occasions every year (i.e. when it was hot).
Then along came the chickens. They added sparkle to my life and chaos to my garden.
The decking showed signs of poop, the shrubs slowly deteriorated as the chickens ate them, and the gravel moved mysteriously round the garden as the chickens scrabbled away looking for worms. To be fair, two of the shrubs did actually die as a result of a particularly cold winter and I was responsible for the death of another by over-pruning it. And the chickens (for some unexplainable reason) do not eat box bushes, so they are still there.
So, I replaced the demised plants with more box bushes (nice triangular ones in pots) and two plastic bushes, which if you didn't know, look just like the real thing. I have also been able to add two Buddha nightlights to the garden which are very appropriate considering my job and look quite spooky at night. The gravel is now mixed in with bark chippings so that the chickens have more places to scrabble in.
I still have a nice garden. It's just a bit different from what it looked like before. And now I share it with the chickens.
On reflection, I don't share it at all. It now belongs to them. I just happen to use it to hang the washing in on odd occasions.
How chickens can calm stress
It's been a busy day today; students starting exams, teaching and meetings. And I'm not really a great fan of Mondays.
All of that fades away though when I get home and the girls are there to greet me. OK I know that they just love me for the treats I give them, but it's so nice to have them trotting along behind you and jumping for grapes. It makes the rest of the evening workable :)
It's fair to say that they have, in the past, also caused some stress, but that has also faded now that they are able to take themselves to bed properly. Spoon still takes her time, but then who wouldn't if in the past Baked had nutted you whenever you tried to get into the Cube? I'll be popping out in a minute to do the nightly check and shut them in.
So on balance, if you're thinking about getting chickens - do! The fresh eggs and their inquisitive little faces are worth it (even if those faces do look a little like a velociraptor ...)
All of that fades away though when I get home and the girls are there to greet me. OK I know that they just love me for the treats I give them, but it's so nice to have them trotting along behind you and jumping for grapes. It makes the rest of the evening workable :)
It's fair to say that they have, in the past, also caused some stress, but that has also faded now that they are able to take themselves to bed properly. Spoon still takes her time, but then who wouldn't if in the past Baked had nutted you whenever you tried to get into the Cube? I'll be popping out in a minute to do the nightly check and shut them in.
So on balance, if you're thinking about getting chickens - do! The fresh eggs and their inquisitive little faces are worth it (even if those faces do look a little like a velociraptor ...)
Exit Procedures
Unlike bedtime, it would appear that there is no order for exiting the Cube in the morning. I thought there was, but then the girls decided to come out in a different order the next day, and the next, so I have given up trying to work it out. This morning, it was Baked, then Fried and then Egg and Spoon through the door together.
What I don't understand is this: when I go up to open the Cube in the morning, they are all wide awake, scrabbling around like mad wanting to come out. And then Baked promptly goes and finds a perch and goes to sleep. How does that work?
Today I left them chopped up apples as a treat. They turned their beaks up at them. But I know that when I get back, they will all be gone. Fickle creatures!
What I don't understand is this: when I go up to open the Cube in the morning, they are all wide awake, scrabbling around like mad wanting to come out. And then Baked promptly goes and finds a perch and goes to sleep. How does that work?
Today I left them chopped up apples as a treat. They turned their beaks up at them. But I know that when I get back, they will all be gone. Fickle creatures!
Sunday 15 May 2011
Google 2
And Egg is on Page 4 of the images poking her head through the window!
Added 23rd May - but this does seems to change the more pictures I put on. Currently the picture of grated cheese comes up - and that's on page 1. Sorry, Egg!
Added 23rd May - but this does seems to change the more pictures I put on. Currently the picture of grated cheese comes up - and that's on page 1. Sorry, Egg!
I'm very excited! If you type 'how to train your chicken' into Google, the blog comes up at the bottom of the first page! Thank you, Google!
Bedtime
For those of you who have been following this blog wanting to know whether bedtime issues have been resolved between us; they have. We now go to bed very sensibly without worrying Mum. We have also established who is supposed to sleep where. Baked sleeps in the egg box. Fried sleeps in the middle of the Cube with Egg and Spoon on the left hand side. Sometimes we even snuggle up together, but Baked doesn't join in with that.
That is not to say that things are completely rosy. There is still some bullying going on, mainly by Baked who likes to chase Egg and Spoon around the garden. But this seems to be happening less now, so I guess we are all trying to work things out. We know that there are enough treats to go around and we like making Mum laugh when we all try to jump for grapes at the same time.
That is not to say that things are completely rosy. There is still some bullying going on, mainly by Baked who likes to chase Egg and Spoon around the garden. But this seems to be happening less now, so I guess we are all trying to work things out. We know that there are enough treats to go around and we like making Mum laugh when we all try to jump for grapes at the same time.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
SPAM
As the OH and I were having dinner this evening, the subject of SPAM came up. This was not in relation to either of our email inboxes you understand (this would not be capitalised), but the meat. We were discussing chickens eating meat. Which they are allowed to do. Many people think that chickens are vegetarians, but if you think about it, a worm does not have roots and leaves. It is most definitely meat. Earlier in the day I chopped up the remains of a burger that had remained uneaten following a barbeque the previous evening. To say that the girls wolfed it down is a bit of an understatement. I think that it might be considered a little inappropriate to feed them chicken :€ but other meats are OK. Hence the discussion about SPAM and whether chickens might like to eat it. I for one do not intend to rush out and buy some. Childhood memories of said food are not good.
The main point of the discussion though was surrounding what the letters SPAM actually stand for, since I cannot believe it is actually a real word. Here are some suggestions:
Spiced Meat and Ham (supposedly the true definition but Wikipedia suggests otherwise) (but then I don't believe everything that Wikipedia tells me)
Stuff Posing As Meat
Some Parts Are Meat
Specially Processed Army Meat
If you have any other suggestions as to what it might stand for, then please leave a comment!
P.S. The girls will not be eating SPAM anytime soon.
The main point of the discussion though was surrounding what the letters SPAM actually stand for, since I cannot believe it is actually a real word. Here are some suggestions:
Spiced Meat and Ham (supposedly the true definition but Wikipedia suggests otherwise) (but then I don't believe everything that Wikipedia tells me)
Stuff Posing As Meat
Some Parts Are Meat
Specially Processed Army Meat
If you have any other suggestions as to what it might stand for, then please leave a comment!
P.S. The girls will not be eating SPAM anytime soon.
What Mum has been up to today
Mum would like to announce that she has been using the following items to good effect today:
She doesn't actually have a Henry vacuum cleaner but we thought the picture was quite cute so that's why we chose it. Hers is a Sanyo but Dad says that he doesn't really like it and would like a Dyson instead. Apparently it's got a ball which makes it better. As far as we are concerned, if it doesn't have meal worms in it, then it can't be any good.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
She doesn't actually have a Henry vacuum cleaner but we thought the picture was quite cute so that's why we chose it. Hers is a Sanyo but Dad says that he doesn't really like it and would like a Dyson instead. Apparently it's got a ball which makes it better. As far as we are concerned, if it doesn't have meal worms in it, then it can't be any good.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
The Highwaymen
We are glad that the judges made the right decision last night on Britain's Got Talent and put The Highwaymen through.
We would like to play the drums like them but it might be quite difficult to hold the big ones. Would we use chicken drumsticks?
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
An update on the Eurovision Song Contest
We very much like watching the show last night. We thought that people voted very sensibly. Since Turkey was not competing, it was most appropriate that they should vote for Azerpigeon instead. Although we did think that Mol-dove-a could also have won....
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Saturday 14 May 2011
Eurovision Song Contest
We are very much looking forward to this show this evening. Mum and Dad have explained how it all works. In chicken terms we understand that if the acts were animals we would vote for ducks and turkeys but we would NOT vote for cows and pigs. At least we think that's what they meant.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Michael McIntyre
We are a little bit confused. All this time we thought that Mum was in love with Dad and then, randomly, she tells us that she loves Michael McIntyre!
Thankfully, she has now explained how this works. Apparently this Michael bloke is really funny. (That's not to say that Dad isn't but then it's not his job to be funny). He must be if he poses for pictures as though he was looking at a cabbids and working out the best way to peck it without it coming back and hitting him in the face. Because he's funny she likes to watch his shows, but she still wants to live with Dad, so that's OK. This is what she means when she says she loves him.
We had a sneaky look at a show when she was out one day. We think that he must be part chicken because he questions everyday things just like we do. Our particular favourite at the moment is the one when he talks about having to walk home because of the snow. We're not great fans of snow, but then that's probably worth writing about in another post. The only good thing about it is that Mum might then be at home because she is snowed IN (rather than OUT) (you'd have to watch the Michael McIntyre sketch to understand that one) and she can give us cabbids.
Mum tells us that he is currently judging a talent show. We think we would be good at that too because we are all very talented so we would know what talent looks like.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Thankfully, she has now explained how this works. Apparently this Michael bloke is really funny. (That's not to say that Dad isn't but then it's not his job to be funny). He must be if he poses for pictures as though he was looking at a cabbids and working out the best way to peck it without it coming back and hitting him in the face. Because he's funny she likes to watch his shows, but she still wants to live with Dad, so that's OK. This is what she means when she says she loves him.
We had a sneaky look at a show when she was out one day. We think that he must be part chicken because he questions everyday things just like we do. Our particular favourite at the moment is the one when he talks about having to walk home because of the snow. We're not great fans of snow, but then that's probably worth writing about in another post. The only good thing about it is that Mum might then be at home because she is snowed IN (rather than OUT) (you'd have to watch the Michael McIntyre sketch to understand that one) and she can give us cabbids.
Mum tells us that he is currently judging a talent show. We think we would be good at that too because we are all very talented so we would know what talent looks like.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Something else that we like
Mum cooked Tuna Pasta Bake last night.
We liked it a lot. Mum's is better than the one in the picture because she uses the curly pasta which holds the flavour better and bits of tuna as well.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Friday 13 May 2011
Velociraptors
It is a well known fact that chickens are in fact direct descendants of velociraptors. This would seem to be supported by the images below:
If you have ever watched Jurassic Park you will know what they are capable of. It's a scary thought that the chickens are capable of the same ...
Which leads me to the following. Which is slightly off the mark, but quite appropriate(ish) considering that I am an RE teacher ...
Why it would be better for chickens to do the driving
I only reflect on this because it seems that people find the whole car thing quite difficult. Especially in the car park at Tesco. I went there this evening because I had to buy some more cabbids. The girls had texted me earlier in the day to say that they had run out. Bearing in mind that my local Tesco (nay a Tesco Extra) has a very big car park, I found it quite remarkable that one person still felt it necessary to stop their car outside the main entrance to the shop, where the thing that looks like a conservatory is, blocking the road. Obviously their OH was inside the shop and they were waiting for them to come out. This I can understand but why could they not pull up in the nice parking bay less than 100 metres away that has been specially created for people who want to pick up their OHs? It even has a special sign on it that says 'Pick up only'. Or even the free parking space that was less than ten metres away from the front of their car?
If you are sensing that I am perhaps a little rankled by this behaviour; I am. I cannot understand why people can, at times, be so LAZY. Supermarkets provide those nice things called trolleys nowadays which means that you don't have to lug your shopping to your car; you can wheel it there. And both of the available spaces where said driver could have parked were right next to a trolley park so it's not as if they would then have had to walk very far to deposit their trolley.
Did I say anything? No, of course not. The driver looked a bit scary, to be honest. So I thought I would just let out my frustration here instead. Sorry about that.
If you are sensing that I am perhaps a little rankled by this behaviour; I am. I cannot understand why people can, at times, be so LAZY. Supermarkets provide those nice things called trolleys nowadays which means that you don't have to lug your shopping to your car; you can wheel it there. And both of the available spaces where said driver could have parked were right next to a trolley park so it's not as if they would then have had to walk very far to deposit their trolley.
Did I say anything? No, of course not. The driver looked a bit scary, to be honest. So I thought I would just let out my frustration here instead. Sorry about that.
Apparently Mum has created a Facebook page called How to train your chicken and put a link to this blog on it.
We would like to know why it isn't called Chickenbook.
We would also like to apologise to all her friends that she has bombarded with a request to read the blog. Mum, if they want to read it, I am sure they will but you don't need to go on at them. Really. We would have thought that our eggsiting and unique personalities would want to make them read the blog anyway. Sorry about the pun. We couldn't help it.
Finally we would like to say that if you think you can train us, think again. It's never going to happen.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Thursday 12 May 2011
Four disappointed chickens
We were all rather looking forward to the next installment of The Apprentice tonight because Fried said that we would all be allowed to make comments on what was going on.
There we were, all lined up on the sofa waiting for (a) meal worms and (b) for it to start when Mum came in and told us that we needed to go back outside.
We would like to write an official complaint to Sir Alan asking why it is not on tonight.
We were enjoying making comments on the exploits of humans, especially what they were wearing and what they said. Chickens would appear to lead a much simpler life; we do not need to worry about what we are going to wear and whether it matches, since we already have it on. When we open our beaks only sensible communication comes out usually related to food, space or laying eggs.
We have been told that we need to wait until next Wednesday before one or all of us can make comments about what is going on. Clearly either the BBC or Sir Alan or both are not living up to their duty of care to chickens.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
There we were, all lined up on the sofa waiting for (a) meal worms and (b) for it to start when Mum came in and told us that we needed to go back outside.
We would like to write an official complaint to Sir Alan asking why it is not on tonight.
We were enjoying making comments on the exploits of humans, especially what they were wearing and what they said. Chickens would appear to lead a much simpler life; we do not need to worry about what we are going to wear and whether it matches, since we already have it on. When we open our beaks only sensible communication comes out usually related to food, space or laying eggs.
We have been told that we need to wait until next Wednesday before one or all of us can make comments about what is going on. Clearly either the BBC or Sir Alan or both are not living up to their duty of care to chickens.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Wednesday 11 May 2011
Baked's comments on the one that got fired
I can't believe that there is another one who thinks that walking out of the boardroom like a sulky child is OK. Granted, this time there was a semblance of the words 'thank you' coming out of said child's mouth, but blink and you would have missed it. Even the blink would have been louder than the 'thank you'.
Sometimes humans can be an odd bunch.
Sometimes humans can be an odd bunch.
Baked's comments on The Apprentice
Despite the fact that Fried is the top chicken, that does not mean that she should win everything and I would give her a good run for her money if we were to compete against one another in the boardroom.
That is why it is my turn to comment on The Apprentice today.
First of all I am quite worried about the guy with the funny name that opened the door. It's 0500hrs and he is wearing a SUIT. Even chickens are not properly awake at that time, and we are known for being up before anyone else, so how on earth was he ready in his suit? Does he sleep in the thing?
I'm disappointed that neither group decided to come up with a chicken app. Something with a variety of noises, perhaps to explain to humans what certain squawks mean e.g. I've laid an egg, get out of my space, give me cabbids etc. Humans think they understand what we mean but sometimes they are way off the mark. So an app would help with that.
Back to the suit thing. Someone needs to tell that Leon bloke that you really can't wear a light grey suit with a navy shirt with red stripes on it. Even chickens don't have colourways that mad.
So the girls did go with a noise app. Bet you there's not a chicken in sight on it. Poor show.
So what is the plan? I could do better with the sales pitch than the rather smarmy bloke who thinks he's gorgeous. If you don't know the plan, then you really shouldn't be doing the pitch.
That said, their pitch was a lot better in the conference room. And I for one would have gone for the free doughnuts! I'm sorry Edna, but your pitch to you and you and you was just too twee. You're not really helping the girls' corner here.
It is time for me to sign off now so that I don't give away the winner for those who have not watched this episode yet!
That is why it is my turn to comment on The Apprentice today.
First of all I am quite worried about the guy with the funny name that opened the door. It's 0500hrs and he is wearing a SUIT. Even chickens are not properly awake at that time, and we are known for being up before anyone else, so how on earth was he ready in his suit? Does he sleep in the thing?
I'm disappointed that neither group decided to come up with a chicken app. Something with a variety of noises, perhaps to explain to humans what certain squawks mean e.g. I've laid an egg, get out of my space, give me cabbids etc. Humans think they understand what we mean but sometimes they are way off the mark. So an app would help with that.
Back to the suit thing. Someone needs to tell that Leon bloke that you really can't wear a light grey suit with a navy shirt with red stripes on it. Even chickens don't have colourways that mad.
So the girls did go with a noise app. Bet you there's not a chicken in sight on it. Poor show.
So what is the plan? I could do better with the sales pitch than the rather smarmy bloke who thinks he's gorgeous. If you don't know the plan, then you really shouldn't be doing the pitch.
That said, their pitch was a lot better in the conference room. And I for one would have gone for the free doughnuts! I'm sorry Edna, but your pitch to you and you and you was just too twee. You're not really helping the girls' corner here.
It is time for me to sign off now so that I don't give away the winner for those who have not watched this episode yet!
Cabbids
Ha ha, we came out of the Cube in a different order again to confuse Mum! This time it was Spoon, followed by Baked and then Fried. Egg stayed in for a bit to check out the egg box so maybe she is going to lay her first egg today?
We were very pleased to see that there was some cabbids hanging off the table today as requested. We have asked our union representative to be on standby though just in case there is none tomorrow.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
We were very pleased to see that there was some cabbids hanging off the table today as requested. We have asked our union representative to be on standby though just in case there is none tomorrow.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Tuesday 10 May 2011
Cabbids
Dear Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon
You do not need your union representative. I have prepared your cabbids; it is in the fridge and I will make sure to hang it up tomorrow morning.
Mum x
You do not need your union representative. I have prepared your cabbids; it is in the fridge and I will make sure to hang it up tomorrow morning.
Mum x
Fried's comments on the one that was fired
Without giving anything away (because I don't know if Dad has watched the episode or not) can I just say that the one that left tonight was really rude! As a young chick, I was always brought up to say 'thank you' and the one that left went out like a sulky child without saying anything.
So I would like to take this opportunity to remind anybody reading that you should always say 'thank you' for things you are given, or experiences that you have had. It makes for a better world. I always say 'thank you' when I am given a treat (granted it is usually after I have scoffed it, but there you go).
So I would like to take this opportunity to remind anybody reading that you should always say 'thank you' for things you are given, or experiences that you have had. It makes for a better world. I always say 'thank you' when I am given a treat (granted it is usually after I have scoffed it, but there you go).
Fried's comments on The Apprentice
Clearly, if there was an Apprentice series for chickens, I would win it. That is because I am top chicken anyway so the others don't stand a chance.
I have just started watching the new series of The Apprentice. If you have not watched the episode yet, then there are spoilers in this post, so you had better log off until you have seen it.
I would like to focus on some of the stupid things that human beings say. In the space of five minutes the following quotes came up:
I have just started watching the new series of The Apprentice. If you have not watched the episode yet, then there are spoilers in this post, so you had better log off until you have seen it.
I would like to focus on some of the stupid things that human beings say. In the space of five minutes the following quotes came up:
Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit if there are footprints on the moon.
I believe I can be the champion thoroughbred that this process requires.
I’m best of breed within my industry.
My social life, my personal life don’t mean anything to me. I live to work, it’s all I do.
Underneath these glasses is a core of steel.
I take cutthroat and ruthless to a new level.
The fear of failure drives me every day.
They are all stupid.
The sky can still be the limit because the moon is not the sky. The sky is the sky and is around the moon, and the earth and all the other planets out there. So it is bigger than the moon.
The man that said this was a human being, not something that is taken to a show and preened and gets a certificate. The quote might work if a chicken had said it because that is what happens to chickens sometimes.
Similar to above. He's not going to win Crufts for goodness sake (or the chicken equivalent).
The woman who said this is a sad person. You have to have a personal life so that you can look after chickens. Or more precisely, be ruled over by chickens during the time that you are at home.
The man that said this didn't then disappear into a phone booth. This quote might work for Superman but not for the dude who said it.
Again, the man that said this didn't then carry on with 'Ahoy me hearties'. I don't think he was called Jack Sparrow either.
You should not be afraid of failing. It is failing that makes you who you are; you can grow into a better chicken. I don't always reach the branch when I try to jump for it, so I try to jump higher the next time. If I still don't get there, I'll just go and get something from the feeding station. Job done.
That is not to say that all human beings are stupid. Just, as highlighted above, some of them.
Mum's Garden
Mum tells us that she is planning on writing a post about her garden and something that she calls 'conflict' between that and having chickens.
Before you read it, we would like to point out that it is not her garden; it is ours.
Just so that there is no confusion later on.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Before you read it, we would like to point out that it is not her garden; it is ours.
Just so that there is no confusion later on.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Crocs
I'd like to take this opportunity to say that my favourite pair of shoes at the moment are my bright pink crocs.
I didn't always like crocs, to be honest, I did think that they looked rather silly, especially with shorts. Since I am not a great wearer of shorts (being a bit challenged in the height department and dumpy and all) I suppose I shouldn't really have worried so much.
However, since having gone through a large number of pairs of slippers in my forages in the garden to check on the chickens, I realised that having a pair of shoes that was (a) comfortable (b) wearable with socks or no socks (c) wearable as 'downstairs shoes' and (d) waterproof and cleanable was actually quite a good idea. Out went the cream slippers which had turned into brown slippers more times than I care to remember. In came the above (internet picture, not my actual shoes).
Now, at this point, I do have to confess that I am using the name 'crocs' because that is what everyone calls them. I should not technically be doing this. Because rather than paying the going rate for a pair of crocs, I simply popped into Primark and bought a pair of 'croc-style' shoes for £2. Therefore they are not really crocs. But the title 'Plastic Shoes' would not really have worked for this post.
I am hoping that a lawsuit will not follow as a result of misrepresentation on this post. Being a Mum to four hungry chickens who like lots of things, I can't afford to pay costs. So please nice croc people let me off on this one, and see it as positive advertising for your shoes.
An update on the kitchen door
I think that there is a strong possibility that we are indeed doomed with regards to the kitchen door. I simply walked into the kitchen today and up to the door without touching anything and four chickens ran from all over the garden to stand outside. If you have ever watched Dr Who and the Weeping Angels (creepy) the chickens are rather worryingly like them....
Cabbids
We would like to point out that we were very quiet this morning inside the Cube until Mum let us out. She thinks she knows how we come out but we deliberately came out in a different order this morning to confuse her. Egg came out first, then Fried and Spoon tried to get out of the door at the same time and Baked sauntered out when she was ready.
However, we would like to make clear our disappointment that on exit, there was NO CABBIDS. AT ALL. Granted, there were meal worms (all over) and Mum did put out some nice juicy apples. We did walk around by the table where the cabbids usually hangs but none appeared and we think that Mum has gone to work now so we know there won't be any today.
Tomorrow we would like cabbids please. Otherwise we will have to complain to our union.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
However, we would like to make clear our disappointment that on exit, there was NO CABBIDS. AT ALL. Granted, there were meal worms (all over) and Mum did put out some nice juicy apples. We did walk around by the table where the cabbids usually hangs but none appeared and we think that Mum has gone to work now so we know there won't be any today.
Tomorrow we would like cabbids please. Otherwise we will have to complain to our union.
Fried, Baked, Egg and Spoon xxxx
Monday 9 May 2011
Mum's response to Spoon
Dear Spoon
Of course I am worried about you; I'm your Mum; it's my job. I am glad that ten minutes after writing that post (I did wonder why there was chicken poo on the computer) you had taken yourself to bed and when I went down a bit later to shut the door (in my pyjamas of course) you were all nicely settled in.
It would be nice to think that I could get an early night sometimes, of course, but that will only happen in winter when you go to bed really early.
Love Mum
Of course I am worried about you; I'm your Mum; it's my job. I am glad that ten minutes after writing that post (I did wonder why there was chicken poo on the computer) you had taken yourself to bed and when I went down a bit later to shut the door (in my pyjamas of course) you were all nicely settled in.
It would be nice to think that I could get an early night sometimes, of course, but that will only happen in winter when you go to bed really early.
Love Mum
A comment from Spoon
I am able to write this post because I am always the last to go to bed. This is because in the past the other chickens have given me a hard time, so I have figured out that the best tactic is for me to wait for them all to go to bed and then crawl in later. There's more than enough room for us, and the big fat one sleeps in the egg box anyway so there's no issue there. They have all gone to bed already, lazy chickens.
It also means that I can get the best of the grubs that often come out later in the evening. I'm a bit partial to those ones that snuggle down between the bits of gravel in the garden and think they're safe. Not from my beak, they're not ...
Of course I know that my Mum is worried about me because she doesn't like it when the others bully me. But I'm getting bigger now and can hold my own, so she really doesn't have to fuss so much. Sometimes I think she's making a fuss because she wants to go to bed herself, but she'll just have to wait because I haven't finished with the grubs yet.
It also means that I can get the best of the grubs that often come out later in the evening. I'm a bit partial to those ones that snuggle down between the bits of gravel in the garden and think they're safe. Not from my beak, they're not ...
Of course I know that my Mum is worried about me because she doesn't like it when the others bully me. But I'm getting bigger now and can hold my own, so she really doesn't have to fuss so much. Sometimes I think she's making a fuss because she wants to go to bed herself, but she'll just have to wait because I haven't finished with the grubs yet.
How to open the kitchen door without the chickens knowing about it
This is still something that myself and the OH are working on. We have currently succeeded in doing so to about a distance of 6". Any more than that, and the girls are magically outside the door before you can say 'mealworms'. The problem is not that the door squeaks (which it does, a bit) more the fact that it moves. Which is something that doors are supposed to do, so unless house manufacturers some up with some kind of security system that houseowners can walk through and chickens can't we are going to have to continue with working out how to let air in the house without letting the chickens in at the same time.
The thing is, as soon as the door opens, the girls spring into action. There must be something inside a chicken's brain from birth that alerts them immediately a door opens. I know that it is not just something special to our girls because friends who have chickens experience exactly the same thing. They seem to think that when the door opens, they are going to get some kind of food/treat/free pass inside. It doesn't matter where in the garden they are or what other noises there are outside, they can still hear it. Once I simply turned the handle a fraction and I was suddenly faced with four chickens lining up outside the door.
We did consider the idea of a stable door at one point. The problem is, chickens can also jump (except Baked who is a bit fat at the moment) and so that would mean that we would end up with four chickens lined up on top of the bottom half of the door. This would be quite cute, but also opens up lots of new possibilities for them like jumping from there onto the shelf where the TV is. Since Fried has already broken a pot by jumping onto the bottom shelf from the floor, I dread to think what it would do to the TV.
I think it might be time to bring that air conditioner unit down from the spare room so we can stay cool and the chickens can stay outside ...
The thing is, as soon as the door opens, the girls spring into action. There must be something inside a chicken's brain from birth that alerts them immediately a door opens. I know that it is not just something special to our girls because friends who have chickens experience exactly the same thing. They seem to think that when the door opens, they are going to get some kind of food/treat/free pass inside. It doesn't matter where in the garden they are or what other noises there are outside, they can still hear it. Once I simply turned the handle a fraction and I was suddenly faced with four chickens lining up outside the door.
We did consider the idea of a stable door at one point. The problem is, chickens can also jump (except Baked who is a bit fat at the moment) and so that would mean that we would end up with four chickens lined up on top of the bottom half of the door. This would be quite cute, but also opens up lots of new possibilities for them like jumping from there onto the shelf where the TV is. Since Fried has already broken a pot by jumping onto the bottom shelf from the floor, I dread to think what it would do to the TV.
I think it might be time to bring that air conditioner unit down from the spare room so we can stay cool and the chickens can stay outside ...
Pyjamas
I have yet to find a pair of pyjamas with chickens on. Needless to say, if I find any, I will be buying them (in multiple colours if they are available). This may seem like a little bit too much information, and not even vaguely related to the girls, but since they see me mainly in my pyjamas, it is quite important. That is not because I spend all day in them (which I would if I could) but because the two times they are guaranteed to see me is first thing in the morning and last thing at night (actually they don't see me at all at night because they are in bed, but that's when I go out to shut them in).
My favourite pair of pyjamas at the moment is my spotty ones. I should make clear at this point that I never actually buy a pair of pyjamas but buy the trousers and top separately - fully co-ordinating, of course. So my favourites are actually spotty trousers and a black vest.
Reading that back makes it seem as though I am (a) sad and (b) an old man. I am not sure that anyone actually uses the term 'vest' any more. And I suppose trying to make sure that I co-ordinate the outfit when you are simply going to sleep in it is possibly a little bit over the top.
I am, obviously, writing this post in my pyjamas. Not the spotty ones I'm afraid. If anyone finds any with chickens on then I would be most grateful if you could let me know.
My favourite pair of pyjamas at the moment is my spotty ones. I should make clear at this point that I never actually buy a pair of pyjamas but buy the trousers and top separately - fully co-ordinating, of course. So my favourites are actually spotty trousers and a black vest.
Reading that back makes it seem as though I am (a) sad and (b) an old man. I am not sure that anyone actually uses the term 'vest' any more. And I suppose trying to make sure that I co-ordinate the outfit when you are simply going to sleep in it is possibly a little bit over the top.
I am, obviously, writing this post in my pyjamas. Not the spotty ones I'm afraid. If anyone finds any with chickens on then I would be most grateful if you could let me know.
Running Order
Night two in the chicken house was again successful, it would appear. It was Mum's turn to do the honours in the morning and as usual their senses were well honed so they starting scrabbling about like mad when the first of the feeders were put into the garden.
They seem to have established a sleeping pattern and also an exit routine from the Cube when the door is opened. Fried first (she is chief chook after all), literally flying down the steps, followed by Baked (second in the order is the lowest that she wants to be), then Egg and then Spoon. Spoon seems to take a more leisurely approach to it all, she will saunter down the steps and ponder life around her before making her way to the feeder.
Oddly enough there were no slugs this morning (but then I did remember to wear my crocs).
They seem to have established a sleeping pattern and also an exit routine from the Cube when the door is opened. Fried first (she is chief chook after all), literally flying down the steps, followed by Baked (second in the order is the lowest that she wants to be), then Egg and then Spoon. Spoon seems to take a more leisurely approach to it all, she will saunter down the steps and ponder life around her before making her way to the feeder.
Oddly enough there were no slugs this morning (but then I did remember to wear my crocs).
Sunday 8 May 2011
Slugs
Are really gross. I'm sorry but there's really no nice way to put it. They are slimey and you can't tell which end is which.
In the past, the girls would walk past a slug, so much so, that in wet weather we'd be overrun with them and have to bring the run feeders in otherwise they would end up covered in slugs. Sometimes, in the morning (it being the morning and all) I would inadvertently step on one, and feel that squelchy mulchy feeling underfoot (even worse if I thought I could get away with going out with no shoes on).
However, nowadays, it seems as though they have become a rather tasty titbit. Fried relishes them. But what with them being as slimey as they are, they tend to leave a whole load of slime around the beak which is then picked off by one of the other chickens. If you are reading this while eating, I do apologise, but it's all natural behaviour and since this blog is in the main about chickens, it's relevant information. This does help us with the slug/feeder problem, but only of course if the number of chickens eating slugs balances the number of slugs out there. We haven't seen the others eating them yet, so it may be that the ratio is still in the slugs' favour.
For those of you out there that are teachers, this is the part of the blog where I have achieved the numeracy strand of my profession by mentioning things like ratios. For everyone else, ignore what I have just written because it probably sounds a bit weird.
I have chosen not to upload a picture of a slug because that would be a bit too much.
In the past, the girls would walk past a slug, so much so, that in wet weather we'd be overrun with them and have to bring the run feeders in otherwise they would end up covered in slugs. Sometimes, in the morning (it being the morning and all) I would inadvertently step on one, and feel that squelchy mulchy feeling underfoot (even worse if I thought I could get away with going out with no shoes on).
However, nowadays, it seems as though they have become a rather tasty titbit. Fried relishes them. But what with them being as slimey as they are, they tend to leave a whole load of slime around the beak which is then picked off by one of the other chickens. If you are reading this while eating, I do apologise, but it's all natural behaviour and since this blog is in the main about chickens, it's relevant information. This does help us with the slug/feeder problem, but only of course if the number of chickens eating slugs balances the number of slugs out there. We haven't seen the others eating them yet, so it may be that the ratio is still in the slugs' favour.
For those of you out there that are teachers, this is the part of the blog where I have achieved the numeracy strand of my profession by mentioning things like ratios. For everyone else, ignore what I have just written because it probably sounds a bit weird.
I have chosen not to upload a picture of a slug because that would be a bit too much.
More champagne?
Or have we just been really lucky? Perhaps the torrential rain again forced them into the pen/Cube so that they could do nothing but sort themselves out. Perhaps it was just the right time and this is how it will continue. The rabbit hutch remains in the corner of the garden ... just in case ... with complementary ball for Hilts ...
I should add ...
... no animals were harmed in the taking of the previous photo. Or were forced to drink alcohol. Egg has never imbibed.
How to pull chicks
Before I start I should make it clear that the title for this post was suggested by my OH. To match with the picture below. Nuff said.
Chickens on a bike
I went to a show recently by Richard Herring called Christ on a Bike. It was pretty funny. To be fair, it was a pushbike and I'm not entirely sure that the bike was relevant to the show, but there we are. Fried and Baked would like to say that this is their Dad's bike and it was a special occasion when they were allowed to ride it. Chickens do tend to struggle a bit with riding a motorbike because when they go really fast the wind gets under their feathers and they have to make an extra effort to hold on otherwise they would fly off.
And yes there is more than one bike in the garage. They can't both ride the same bike unless one of them is pillion....
Things that we like
So Mum is telling you about what we like to drink? We thought you might like to know what it is we like to eat as well (and also what we don't like to eat so that if you ever come round you don't try to give us it).
We like:
MEAL WORMS (they're our favourite)
Cabbage (lots) (even red cabbage, but there's a poo issue with that)
Sweetcorn when it is on the cob (so we can peck at it)
Grapes (we go mad for them and run when Dad throws them)
Yoghurt (we like to stick our beaks into the pots and spatter it everywhere)
Melon (we like it in chunks but also on the rind so we can dip in when we feel like it)
Spaghetti (because it's like worms - cooked of course)
Couscous (Mum gave us some the other day for the first time and it was very nice)
Sardines (we love fiss, give us more fiss)
We DON'T like:
Asparagus (what is that stuff, it's kind of slimey and apparently makes your wee smell)
Savoy Cabbage (we're not that posh, it's crinkly)
Peas (look even humans struggle with peas on forks, how do you think we feel with beaks?)
Broccolli (and we can't spell it either)
Potato (it's a bit bland)
We like:
MEAL WORMS (they're our favourite)
Cabbage (lots) (even red cabbage, but there's a poo issue with that)
Sweetcorn when it is on the cob (so we can peck at it)
Grapes (we go mad for them and run when Dad throws them)
Yoghurt (we like to stick our beaks into the pots and spatter it everywhere)
Melon (we like it in chunks but also on the rind so we can dip in when we feel like it)
Spaghetti (because it's like worms - cooked of course)
Couscous (Mum gave us some the other day for the first time and it was very nice)
Sardines (we love fiss, give us more fiss)
We DON'T like:
Asparagus (what is that stuff, it's kind of slimey and apparently makes your wee smell)
Savoy Cabbage (we're not that posh, it's crinkly)
Peas (look even humans struggle with peas on forks, how do you think we feel with beaks?)
Broccolli (and we can't spell it either)
Potato (it's a bit bland)
Yes that's definitely my favourite after meal worms
Yoghurt, what yoghurt?
Earl Grey Tea
There's a lot of debate about what makes a good cup of tea. In fact I'm pretty sure that one could write a whole blog on that topic alone (don't worry, I don't plan on doing that). Does the milk go in first or second? I'm a milk in second girl myself but don't get too fussy if it's not been served to me that way. Just having someone making me a cup of tea is nice enough! What type of tea is the best? Well for me, it does have to be a nice cup of Earl Grey, or as the OH puts it "perfumed" tea. His face when he drinks mine by mistake is a picture! Fried, on the other hand, is quite partial to a drop of Earl Grey and she will also partake in coffee and wine, if offered.
I'm not really sure whether chickens should drink tea. Or coffee. I'm pretty sure they shouldn't drink wine, but the odd drop doesn't seem to have done any harm so far.
I don't really want a tirade of abuse from animal lovers who think I've done the wrong thing. Chickens will only eat/drink what they want to, so if they choose to drink tea that's up to them. :)
Another comment from Egg
I would also like to say that I am not a great fan of rain. The other chickens tell me that Dad leaves the garage door open when he thinks it is going to rain so that they can shelter in there. Being the smallest, I haven't quite figured out how to get there without getting really wet so I have been spending time standing underneath the lilac tree/bush instead. I also stand like a penguin when it is raining and Mum likes that because she is a penguin. That's what Dad calls her so that makes sense, right?
A comment from Egg
I would just like to say that it isn't really my fault that I haven't laid anything yet. It's a stressful time being the smallest chicken in the group. I was at my last house, and I am here, so that's why I will chase away the magpies when they come into the garden, because it makes me feel a bit bigger. When Mum and Dad came to choose me, I know they didn't want a white chicken anyway, they wanted one of those Speckledy things but the last one had just gone, so they had to have me. Dad chose me specifically because I was the smallest so I think it's a little unfair that there have been complaints about me not laying anything yet. Don't they know that chickens don't lay eggs until they are a bit bigger? Honestly! Anyway, they are silly calling me Egg. That means that eventually they will eat Egg's eggs and that sounds really stupid.
I am sure that Mum will keep you posted with the egg thing. No pressure then. Maybe they need to remind themselves that in the chicken book it says that I might not lay until I'm 25 weeks old and that is AT LEAST another month away.
In the meantime I am going to stuff my face with worms.
I am sure that Mum will keep you posted with the egg thing. No pressure then. Maybe they need to remind themselves that in the chicken book it says that I might not lay until I'm 25 weeks old and that is AT LEAST another month away.
In the meantime I am going to stuff my face with worms.
A scientific question
Here's one for all you scientists out there to ponder over. Well you don't have to be scientists to ponder over it actually, I've spent ages wondering about this one and despite the fact that my A-Levels say that I could be a scientist, I'm really not.
=
How is it that when a chicken eats PURPLE cabbage (or as they sell it in the shops Red Cabbage), it poops out GREEN poo? (For the record, when it eats Green Cabbage, a chicken's poos are perfectly normal) (as are they when they eat Yellow Sweetcorn).
Any thoughts or comments on the matter would be most helpful. I like to know these things.
=How is it that when a chicken eats PURPLE cabbage (or as they sell it in the shops Red Cabbage), it poops out GREEN poo? (For the record, when it eats Green Cabbage, a chicken's poos are perfectly normal) (as are they when they eat Yellow Sweetcorn).
Any thoughts or comments on the matter would be most helpful. I like to know these things.
Headbutting
Chickens are very good at this. Especially when they know that there is something tasty on the other side of the door (or think there is). Thus this morning at 0600 hrs when the OH went out to open the door to the Cube the chickens practically tumbled out and down the steps since they had already heard him putting the feeding stations out.
They also do this with the kitchen door and have actually learned how to knock on the door with their beaks when they know that you are in there. It sounds quite polite and quiet from a human point of view but I'm pretty sure that they are banging on that door really hard!
There was no bloodbath this morning. I am keeping everything crossed that this is the start of true love between all the girls ....
They also do this with the kitchen door and have actually learned how to knock on the door with their beaks when they know that you are in there. It sounds quite polite and quiet from a human point of view but I'm pretty sure that they are banging on that door really hard!
There was no bloodbath this morning. I am keeping everything crossed that this is the start of true love between all the girls ....
Saturday 7 May 2011
Living in a mansion
No that's not me, that's the girls. This is the house that we've been struggling to get them all into for the last month and we have had success tonight ... I don't know what all the fuss is all about, if I was offered something like this then I wouldn't have a problem ...
Mealworms
If you are squeamish then look away now ....
These little creatures are like Pringles to chickens - once you pop you can't stop ....
These little creatures are like Pringles to chickens - once you pop you can't stop ....
Break open the champagne!
Well I might be counting my chickens before they are hatched ... but ... for one night definitely ... they are all in the Cube, sleeping .... yeay! Baked has taken what she thinks is the prime spot in the nest box, but the other three weren't that bothered about sleeping there anyway. The door is shut and we are hoping that we don't open it to a bloodbath tomorrow morning ....
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