How to use a sorting hat

OK it's official.  Mum is loopy.  Normal teachers just tell students where to sit in the classroom - usually in alphabetical order.  Not Mum.  Oh no.  She feels the urge to do something 'different'; hence the use of the sorting hat to arrange her students (a move up from the magic wand used last year).  Apparently this sorting hat talks to her to tell her where the students should sit, and even makes comments on their hairstyles.  There is even a special stool for them to sit on.

And this is the woman that we trust to look after us......

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx