Where are the fiss?

Mum told us at the weekend that she was going fissing today.  We thought that this was a nice thing and hoped that she would bring us some fiss back or at least some maggots.

She came back with no fiss.  Or maggots.

She told us that it was too wet to go fissing.  We don't really understand that.  As far as we know, fiss live in water and so it can never be too wet to go fissing.

She also told us that even if the weather had been nice enough to fiss, apparently you have to put the fiss back after you have caught them, and so she would not have been able to bring any back.  Again, we don't really understand that.  If you catch something, surely you would want to keep it?  It's like going into the supermarket and picking something up, paying for it, and then putting it back on the shelf.  That's just stupid.

So we have lost out big time, and are soaking wet into the bargain.  Not a good day.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

P.S. Perhaps we should not seem so hard done by.  We were given worms this morning, and some apple and Mum just gave us cheese.

When is a fireguard not a fireguard?

When it is a plant protector. 

The girls in their wisdom have decided to go for a plant that they have not even been remotely interested in in the past.  This is a problem on two levels.  One; I have grown this particular plant from a baby plant that my Mum gave me and I quite like it.  Two; it is poisonous to chickens.  I have cordoned it off with chicken wire but this doesn't look very nice, so I thought that a fireguard around it might do the trick.  Someone from work is bringing one in that she doesn't use any more (and doesn't mind me using in the garden) (she's got chickens too so she understands).

When said guard is in place I will take a picture and post it since I know that readers of this blog will be desperate to see what it looks like.

I'm back!

I really have no idea why Mum is fussing so much.  Or why Egg has been lording it over me for the last few days.  Just because I decided to take two days off laying it doesn't mean that I have stopped.  Or that I am broody.  As a female it is my prerogative to do exactly what I like.  So I decided to lay an egg today.  I might do the same tomorrow.  But then again, I might not.

Spoon x

Why were Granny and Grandpa disappointed today?

Because there were not enough eggs for Mum to take down to them when she saw them.  As the chief egg layer at the moment I feel that I am best qualified to explain this.  I have been laying one egg a day for ages (well, at least since I gave up being broody the last time).  Fried is, as usual, a law unto herself and has stopped laying solid eggs again, but will sometimes lay softies.  Spoon has not laid an egg for the last TWO days.  Well, if she has, Mum has not found them because they are certainly not in their normal place.  Thus, there was a shortage of eggs to take to Granny and Grandpa and Mum is concerned that there may not be enough eggs for her to have her usual egg salad each day next week.

On the positive side, Mum came back with a plant to put in her classroom.  Unfortunately we were unable to see it since she has left it in the car, but she says that even we can't destroy this one.  Apparently it is a fake plant.  She explained to us that this means that it looks like a real one but needs no maintenance at all.  Which given Mum's track record with plants is probably a good thing.

Egg x

Does anyone have a spare hoverboard available?

I could really do with one so that when I open the kitchen door in the afternoon to give the girls some treats I can hover above them to the garden to put the treats out rather than having to take cumbersome steps rather like someone walking in very heavy mud to avoid stepping on them.

Alternatively I could sew some velcro onto my shoes so that I can attach them, carry them up the garden as I am walking and then peel them off when we are at our final treat destination.  At the moment they are practically attached to my feet as it is.

It's nice to feel so loved.  Even if it is because I am the great treat giver.

Does everything really have to match?

According to Mum, it does.  Which is why we have matching sunshades on our house; why the plants are in some kind of alignment with the lights in the garden; why there are two of the same tea towel so that they can hang on the two bars of the range cooker and why she has a number of pairs of sunglasses that go with the outfits that she is wearing.

This is why, when she went to the Radley VIP event this evening she had to buy a new pencil case because it was the same colour as her workbag.

We are reliably informed that she already has a pencil case in her workbag.  But since it didn't match, it just had to be replaced.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

P.S. She has just told us that not everything has to match.  We don't really co-ordinate well with one another (everyone knows that ginger and grey and white don't really go together).  She says that we are the very special exception to this rule.  Our cuteness overrides the matching rule.

An update on Mum's riding lessons

Mum had another new horse today.  This time she was riding Lucy.  This is not really the best picture of her.  She's a really nice chestnut colour.

Today she and Lucy have been trotting over poles.  We think that this is a little bit like us trotting over the railway sleepers in the garden when we are going down to the kitchen but we are not really sure.  She has also been riding in small circles around her instructor (as opposed to big circles around the arena).  We run circles around her all the time.....

Perhaps we should give her riding lessons?!

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

How to make people at work jealous

1. Drive your boyfriend's car to work (and park it right at the front of the building).
2. Have egg salad for lunch - and be able to identify who had laid the eggs and when they laid them.
3. Who needs any more reasons?

Another important message for today

We never met Rosie, but we think that we would have liked her (despite the fact that her catch phrase was 'winner, winner, chicken dinner').  An inspiration, and we are sure that she and Baked are having a great time getting to know each other.

Rosie would always look at the positive in life.  Hers was not a long one, just 19 years, but she did so much in that time to help others.  She was always looking for the best; aiming to be up and on her feet even when it became difficult for her to breathe.

Mum likes to remember her with her quirky hats that she took to wearing when she lost her hair and for persuading her to part with one of her favourite sticky bugs (all for a good cause).  She would also like to thank her for being the inspiration to start writing a blog.

Rosie Kilburn

You will be missed by so many

A bright star in the heavens

An important message for today

Having just spent about twenty minutes sitting in the middle of the road supporting the head of a motorcyclist who had been knocked off his bike by a 'sorry mate I didn't see you' idiot (not me), please make sure you double check when you are driving.

Thankfully he should be OK; he had the right gear on, and was able to conduct a conversation about BSB while he was lying there.  I am sure that he (and I) would rather have had the conversation over a cup of coffee or something .....

That's it from me.  Serious but important post.

It's always the way

You spend a fair amount of time brushing the decking and the patio until they sparkle.  (Well nearly).

Then the chickens poo all over it.

It's a never ending circle of love ...

How big is the biggest onion in the world?

We don't know, but Mum says that she saw some pretty big ones at the Onion Fayre today.  Here's a flavour ...

This is the First Prize onion in the single largest onion section.  You can see some of the other exhibits behind it.

This is the First Prize in the biggest three onions section.  They are quite big and if you used them in a curry you'd feed a fair amount of people.

They don't only do onions, they also do leeks (and garlic, but there's no picture of the garlic).

Mum liked the section where people had to make animals out of the onions.  The first prize was this rather nice spider.  If we found one that big, we'd be stuffed for ages and we wouldn't have to fight over it.

This is quite a cute one.  We don't think we'd like to eat an elephant so much though.

Mum thought this one was the cutest but was a bit confused because there isn't an onion (or leek or garlic) in sight.

Mum got back just in time because it has just started raining like crazy and we are hiding underneath the bbq.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

P.S. Mum found out about the onion for us.  The heaviest onion in the world weighed in at 16.52lb.  That's a big onion.  That weighs more than all of us put together!

The return of the kitchen door issue

Chickens would appear to have an internal time clock.  It's a magic thing.  As soon as I return home from work there are three chickens waiting at the kitchen door.  In fact, they are at the kitchen door when I turn the key in the lock of the front door and I can hear them telling me that they know that I am back from work and are waiting for me to open the kitchen door as I walk through the house.  So I do.  And I am faced with three chickens falling into the kitchen in a feathery heap.  No longer do they wait outside the door, they wait pretty much attached to the door so that when it opens they have nowhere to go except in a heap inside the kitchen.

And then of course there is the issue of getting outside to give them some treats.  They know they are coming.  They know that they are coming from me.  They want them lots.  Hence they attach themselves to my ankles and it makes it nearly impossible to walk anywhere to distribute the treats.  It's cute; but a little difficult to move.

I am wondering if I should construct some kind of secret passage from the toilet round to the back of the house so that I can bypass the kitchen door/ankle issue.

The first week is always the longest

I was positive it was Friday today.  But it wasn't.

What happens when you put unleaded in a diesel car?

Well, it kind of hops when you are driving and then if you drive too long the engine goes pop and then you have to pay lots of money to fix it.

That'll be why Mum repeated diesel, diesel, diesel to herself lots of times before she took Dad's car out for a spin and to the garage to put some juice in the tank.

And when she got to the garage used the nice black nozzle to fill the car.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

P.S. Has your heartbeat returned to normal now Dad?  lol

P.P.S.  We thought that this post was funny. lol

How to use a sorting hat

OK it's official.  Mum is loopy.  Normal teachers just tell students where to sit in the classroom - usually in alphabetical order.  Not Mum.  Oh no.  She feels the urge to do something 'different'; hence the use of the sorting hat to arrange her students (a move up from the magic wand used last year).  Apparently this sorting hat talks to her to tell her where the students should sit, and even makes comments on their hairstyles.  There is even a special stool for them to sit on.

And this is the woman that we trust to look after us......

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Congratulations! And Thanks!

The number of blog views has hit (and passed) the 1000 mark.

We would like to say thank you to our loyal followers who have made this possible.

We think that we might go for an Oscar next.

Do they make them in a chicken shape?

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

What chickens do when they don't like being woken up

Way too early.  Therefore I decided not to lay an egg today.

Fried x

You know your Mum has gone back to work when ...

... she comes and wakes you up instead of the other way around.  What kind of time is 0545 anyway?

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Do chickens play conkers?

Well, apart from the latest government directives that suggest that this game is dangerous and a health and safety risk, it would seem so; except with eggs instead.

In the battle of the conker-eggs, Egg and Spoon's won; Fried's lost out.  They didn't have them on a string or anything (that wouldn't work without breaking them); more that they play the game in terms of where they are laid.  Since they insist on laying in the SAME place, despite the fact that the nest box is big enough for them to lay in three separate places, when Fried tried to lay her egg after the others had already laid them, her's was broken.

Still, it does show that Egg is now laying nicely again as well.

Hopefully they will be more sensible with their laying patterns tomorrow.