Tournament of the Kings

The show last night was really good with some amazing horsemanship, the horses were so well trained and they had jousting and everything!  Interesting food; we took the veggie option because we don't eat chicken (for obvious reasons) so we had cheese ravioli; on a technical note, I don't think they had that in Medieval Times ...

All I can say is ... hussar!

Las Vegas is indescribable!

Where else would you be able to go on a rollercoaster ride (and almost look into your hotel window on the way), find the Eiffel Tower or a ceiling that wouldn't be out of place in the Sistine Chapel?  Or the Argo, pretending to be a pirate ship?!

Merlin - in real life

Tonight's venue for dinner and a show - at the same time .... Medieval jousting and stuff like that while eating a veritable feast!  It's going to be hilarious!

Viva Las Vegas

While the chickens enjoy their holiday in Malvern I have taken a small trip over the water and have arrived in Las Vegas.  I have now been up for about 500 hours and I am holding out as best I can until it is bedtime here .... good flight, did loads of school work on the way while the teacher sitting next to me slept a lot.  The flight over the Grand Canyon is booked ... for my birthday.  More when I am a bit Compus Mentis (or whatever that is in Latin...)

Christmas with the folks

While the chickens spend time with others of their kin, I did the same.  A lovely traditional Christmas with the folks involving roaring log fires, the Queen's Speech, church on Christmas morning and completing the big Times Cryptic Crossword.  All presents to be opened after the Queen's Speech, of course, not that there was much room under the Christmas Tree ...

Yes, it really is that small.  And goes out in the New Year, in the pot, to grow a little bit more for next Christmas.  

Also included is the traditional pud, brought to life with some very fine Cognac or Brandy; something like that ...

This followed some very nice fish for Christmas Dinner.  The folks don't do meat ...

Mum is very excited

Chickens on holiday

There will be no posts from the girls for a while.  They went on holiday today to their favourite place in Malvern.  They were checked over again by Auntie Sarah; Fried was complimented on her new feathers and Egg and Spoon were told that they were 'big' girls - that's not to say that they are fat, it's just the breed and they are well-loved and spoilt.

Last year when the girls went, everywhere was covered in snow and their water pipes had frozen.  This year, there was no snow and all the water seemed to be coming down from the sky and made the ground very muddy.  They were very excited at the prospect of eating grass and tucked in to it straight away. 

More from them after Christmas!

Mum is very excited

Can chickens jump?

Yes.  If there are some tasty titbits to jump for.

Actually we are asking because that's what Mum said she did today.  Without there being any titbits to jump for.  We don't understand that.  Is she saying that she just jumps for the sake of it?  Without any reward?  She tells us that the reward is doing it.  Mad.

This is the only picture that we could find that looks like the jump that she went over today.  It's not really a very big jump.  But it is a jump.  Obviously this is not her (she doesn't have an outfit like that).  And that is not Bella, who she was riding (Bella is white).  And she was not outside or in America like this picture (she was at Summerhouse, inside with it being very dark outside).  But it does look like she did when she was jumping (at least she tells us it does).

Apologies to the person whose picture we borrowed but it really was the only one we could find.  We looked for ages.

Well done Mum!

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Three Wise Hens

We were just practising our Christmas Special dance routine when Mum came home

Look at me and my lovely new feathers - I am very proud of having a warm tummy and bottom again

I forgot my moves - what am I supposed to do next?

If I breathe in perhaps no-one will notice me behind this tree

Festive Greetings!

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Mum is very excited

You know it's Christmas when ...

... the special double bumper edition of the Radio Times is out.  Family tradition ...

Time to get the highlighter out to mark what I want to watch!

Wheezy Mummy

What with a sniffly cold and riding horses and nearing the end of term, Mum is a bit wheezy tonight.  Still, she has a smile on her face and only two days to go until the end of term :)

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Realworms

Mum had a doctor's appointment today so was able to see us in the morning before she went.  And what a treat!  Realworms!  Wiggly ones.  Lots of them.  She gave them to us after she moved the playhouse from the middle of the decking to the side where it is supposed to be after the heavy rain and wind last night again.  She tells us that she might be giving it away to some human chickens that appreciate it more than we do.  It will give us more decking to poo on ...  It was cold again tonight so we all shared the nestbox again.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

If the chickens could have pets ...

... they would be ...

Well, OK, they would be Mum's choice really.  But we think that they would be quite cute and would be about the same size as us and we could all run around the garden together.

And Dad, they are dogs.  Not rats.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

How rainy is it?

We are now nicely tucked in our bed (we are all sleeping together in the nest box again tonight).

Mum just got wet :)

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

How rainy is it?

Well we did want to stay out a bit longer so that we could poo on the freshly cleaned decking but it started raining really hard and so we have had to spend a lot of time sheltering under the Cube instead and now we have decided to go to bed.  We are waiting for Mum to come and shut us in but because it is still raining she is sheltering in the house.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

How windy is it?

I think I have discovered a new type of wind gauge.  Forget those cups that whizz round on a pole as the wind gets stronger.  Instead, let me introduce the 'playhouse windometer'.

You may remember that the last time it was very windy the playhouse scooched across the decking, down the steps and onto the patio.  This time, a new direction was taken (presumably because the wind was in a different direction this time).  On this occasion it moved UP the garden, turned on its side and landed in between the buddha lights.  I have left it there for now, and will move it back to its normal position at the weekend.

You will be pleased to know that no chickens were harmed during the use of this new piece of equipment. They were all tucked up in bed when I got home.

Others may have also come up with similar ideas for new wind machines.  I know for a fact that one of the blokes down the road reckons that his 'shed roof wind rater' is an excellent wind gauge.  He spent a few hours today trying to get the roof back on the shed :) so it might just be a bit too much hard work.

We've found our ideal Christmas decorations

... the only problem is that they are in America.  And whichever way they get to us, they are a bit on the costly and large to transport side.  And, if we are completely honest, we are likely to peck at them or poo on them.  Thus in America they will stay ...

But they are cuuuuuuuuuuute ... aren't they?

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Two trees ... seriously?

OK, the other one is at school.  Tomorrow is the day that the other tree goes up in the classroom.  Probably along a pink theme as last year ... What we want to know is why people don't design chicken Christmas decorations.  We think they would be awesome.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

There are other birds in the house ...

... but we'll allow it because they are not real and they only come out at Christmas.

We are looking forward to helping Mum wrap the presents.  If we get bored, we'll just eat the paper.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Why are there twinkling lights in the window?

We think that there is a strong possibility that Mum has put the Christmas Tree up tonight.  Not only were there the sounds of what seemed like a Christmas movie coming from the house, there was also the tinkling of bells and the rustle of tinsel.  We are still waiting for her to provide some nice sparkling lights for our house, but in the meantime we look forward to spending some time with her at the weekend.

We have also noted the dryness of her shoes when she comes out to see us.  We can only conclude that the floor of the house is now DRY.  Everywhere.  Which is a good thing; that funny machine in the hall will go soon.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Wot no interesting post from Mum?

Mum had Parents' Evening tonight.  So when she got home she had a cup of tea and then went to bed.  Hopefully she will be back tomorrow with something interesting to say.  Probably about Christmas Trees, knowing Mum.  We think that she might be planning on putting one up tomorrow night.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Dreaming of heels?

Yes, but in a good way tonight!

This time my heels were DOWN .... didn't lose my feet (not that I actually lose them at any time, that would be a bit stupid and would make it difficult to ride) (they just fall forward in the stirrups sometimes).

Small progress but keeps me happy.  I don't think I'll make the Olympic Team any time soon though ...

What happens in the Central Business District?

Other than laying eggs, as the winter nights draw in, the CBD nest box becomes a place of sleeping.  For Fried.  And Spoon.  And tonight, for the first time (but I suspect not the last), Egg.  It's a tight squeeze for all three of them but cosy in there!

Therefore, this post also serves as a notice of intent to let a very fine roosting space in a deluxe Cube.  Any takers would need to share the Cube with Fried, Spoon and Egg, but since they seem not to be interested in the roosting bars any more, I might as well get something out of it .... interested takers please send a CV and covering letter of interest.

Where does crime occur?

According to Shaw and MacKay of the Chicago School, they believe that most crime occurs in the Zone of Transition which is 'Zone 2', 'Zone 1' being the Central Business District (CBD).

If we were to apply similar principles to the chickens, i.e. where the most poos occur, this model could also apply.  If we take the Cube as being the CBD i.e. where things like egg production occur, the next zone out (the area directly outside the Cube) is the area where most poos occur.

So it is possible to apply Sociological Theory to the world of chickens.

Work life and home life in smooth harmony ....

Wee lyke two dustbarth

The weather has been nice today so we have been sunning ourselves

This is my favourite spot, I always go here and because I am top chicken the others can't complain

I did try to get into that spot but Fried won't let me

I don't really care where I go but I just like to get dirty

Oh dear ...

... look what Mum discovered on the TV.  Guess which channel she will be watching most of the time from now on ...

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Belated Happy Thanksgiving

Another chicken joke

Sorry, the girls are in a funny mood again ...

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeels!

I think I will be dreaming about feet tonight.  Much of today's lesson was working on getting my feet in the right position; in the stirrups, out of the stirrups, prompting the horse etc.  Heels DOWN ...

I'll get there!

The chickens are really sleepy today

They seem to have spent most of their time in bed.  That might not be entirely fair, but when I went to work they were in bed and when I came back from work they were in bed.  What can I say?

And today Mum is really awake

She must have really needed that sleep yesterday.  It was really good for her.  So much so that she has been bouncing around today.  She had cleaned the bathrooms and polished around the house before 0900 this morning.  Then she completed her Child Protection Training for school on the kompooter.  And there's still time to hoover before lunch...

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Mum was really tired today

She came out to let us out at 0700 when we asked her to, and then we didn't see her until 1300!  She apologised lots and said that she just went back to bed for a few zzzzz and they turned into zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz instead.  But it was all good; she got some nice sleep and when she woke up there were some flowers for her from the hippos; double bonus!

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Four eggs today

Only joking!  Two were the ones from yesterday and because I skedaddled out of school really quickly today I got back home in time to collect today's eggs and give the girls some mealworms.  This included a stroke for all three of them so that's a lovely end to the week!

More on the cheese slicer

We understand that it is still around somewhere (in two parts though).  The good news is that it is around somewhere on a floor that is dryer than it was yesterday.  One litre of water collected in the machine since the floor was taken up and it still continues to collect water and make noises in the hall.

We might have laid some eggs today.  Mum has not been able to confirm this though because she had one of those special teacher things after school today so came back after it was dark and we were in bed already.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Does anyone have a spare cheese slicer?

We only ask because Mum used the one from the kitchen today to take up some laminate flooring.  We don't think that is what you are supposed to use it for, Mum.  Nor are you supposed to use a kitchen knife.  That is why both have snapped in half.

Here is the result of her labours ...

As you can see, the extent of the wet is quite big.  But now that the old floor has gone, the machine that is making funny noises in the hall can dry it out.

We are looking forward to seeing the new floor.  We are looking forward to pooping on it :)

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Mum is in a bad mood

Well, not a really bad one.

Just as we all thought that the problem with the leaking hot water tank was done and dusted it turns out that where it was leaking, it was REALLY leaking and went all into the floor. This problem has only shown itself recently as the heating went on, and then all the wetness underneath thought it would be a nice idea to come up and out ... on the wall.

Thus there is a big machine in the hall making funny noises.  Mum says that it is called a deehoomidifyer.  Apparently it deals with things like wet.  What it can't do is sort out the floor so Mum might have to take it all up to dry it out properly.  We would be good at helping her with that because we could scrape it up with our feet.  If it is wet underneath then we might find some nice grubs or worms to eat while we were doing it.

We never have problems like that in our house.  Because it is all plastic when it gets wet it just dribbles off.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

The chickens are in a funny mood

... so they would like to share a joke with you.

Sorry, they couldn't resist.

Lest we forget

What would you like for Christmas?

We only ask because Mum has come back home with Christmas decorations.  Again.  She seems to be quite excited about her new ceramic Christmas Tree that lights up (a bit like the one below but with white lights), a reindeer garland and a hanging for the door.  We wouldn't mind so much except that they all seem to be for her and Dad's house and she doesn't seem to have bought anything for our house yet.

So we would like to have some nice lights that can hang around the run, and failing that some tinsel please.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

P.S. We are pretty sure that Dad won't like the ceramic Christmas Tree.  But since Mum is in charge of Christmas decorations he doesn't really have any say in the matter.  Sorry, Dad.

Luk at Mummee go. She kan go farst.

Today Mum was very excited.  She was back at riding tonight after an emergency last week meant she had to cancel.  This week she was on Bella, which was the horse that she was supposed to ride for her very first lesson.

Bella is now officially her favourite horse.  And today she cantered.  No, really cantered.  Not just a few strides but round and round the arena.  OK, she did have one hand on the saddle still but she absolutely loved it.  Lots and lots and lots.  We are not sure that we have really imparted the loveliness that she felt.  So we have tried to find a picture to show it.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Why is it so dark?

Now I go out in the dark as well.  There are some very sleepy chickens around at that time of the morning so I only see them for about two minutes a day at the moment :(

Fried says ...

... now that I have grown some fluffy feathers on my previously bare bottom I am starting to lay eggs again.  I am the best.

Why is it so dark?

I get up in the dark, I go out to work in the grey, I come back from work in the dark.

I think that there are three chickens that live in the garden but at this stage in the year I can't be completely sure about that.

Roll on the weekends when I can spend some time with the girls!

Somewhere over the rainbow ...

... is Mum.  She went to see 'End of the Rainbow' at the theatre tonight.  She did remember to come out and give us some treats before she went and then five minutes later we went to bed.  That's the way to do it!

She'd recommend it.  Not for us, you understand, because we are too small to sit on the seats and see the stage, but for people.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

What happens at the end of half term?

Mum turns back into ...

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Visiting relatives

Mum went to visit our cousins yesterday.  They live with Auntie Yanna in her huge garden.  There are ten of them; two Burfords, two Columbines, two White Stars, two Bluebells and two white ones.  They are small.  She took them a cabbids and some werms.  She says that they are very sweet but they peck each other so some of them have purple bottoms where Auntie Yanna puts medicine on.  She says that we are sweeter :)

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Zumbatastic

So Mum didn't do ballet tonight.  Her friend had told her the wrong time and so when they turned up there was the choice of the advanced ballet class (way too difficult) or Zumba (never done before and bouncy).  So she thought 'why not?'  Her legs are now thinking 'why?'  Hopefully the glass of wine will make them feel better.  She says that the class was like camping again.  But enjoyable nonetheless.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Feeling the need for speed

Cantering, to be precise.  This is what Mum was doing today.  Still holding onto the saddle for dear life, but feeling it .... on Narnia, which was a bit of a surprise considering Mum's last encounter with her.  She is still stubborn (that's the horse, not Mum) but did show a bit more movement today.

Now Mum is relaxing with a glass of wine.  Which must mean that it is still half term.  So we are looking forward to some treats tomorrow.

Watch this space.  Mum tells us that she is doing more 'movement' tomorrow in the form of ballet.  This we have found extremely amusing.  And will continue to do so.  As Dad put it, you need to be graceful to do ballet.  Which Mum is not.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

What greeted us this morning

This is what Mum looked like this morning (without the stubble).  Apparently she is what is known as 'ill'.  This is something that happens during the half term break to teachers quite frequently.  She was going to pop into work, but instead she has popped back to bed to recover.  She did eat some of our eggs before she went, so we think that they will make her better soon.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

What the chickens think of the weather

Windy.  So much so that the playhouse moved from the decking onto the patio last night.  Luckily we weren't in it at the time!

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

What is the chickens' favourite sport?

Apart from grape football ...

They do struggle with holding the iron though ...

Do chickens commit corporate crime?

An interesting question.

One could argue that their poop might well cause an environmental issue, but since no-one has suffered as a result, this cannot be constituted as a crime.

Breach of contract could be one that they could be caught out on, however, with regards to egg production.  That said, since they have not actually signed a contract (they can neither read nor write, or verbally agree to anything), they cannot be held to ransom over this one.

I think it would also be quite difficult to prosecute chickens if any wrongdoing on their part was found.  I am pretty sure that they are all part of a union; and this means that they have some protection against prosecution.

You can perhaps tell that this is what my Extreme Sociologists have been studying today.  (Not the chicken bit, just the Corporate Crime bit).  (Although the chickens do tend to creep into my lessons on occasion).   (Not literally you understand). (That would be a bit unhygienic and inappropriate).

New horse, new tricks

Today Mum was riding Shani.  He was lovely with a relaxing gait, and had a tendency to cut corners, but a nice ride.

She also practised her jump position today.  This involved unlocking some more muscles that she didn't realise that she had and doing a lot of balancing.  She looked a bit like this except she isn't a man and the horse was moving.

We wonder if we should rearrange things in the garden so that she could practise her jumps a bit ...

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

A Message for Extreme Sociologists

Dear Extreme Sociologists (you know who you are)

Stop reading this blog.  You are supposed to be doing homework for our Mum.  She needs some stuff to mark over half term.

Mum will not accept the above as an excuse for not doing it either.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Response to Customer Complaint

Dear Mum

The days are getting shorter.  You don't see us in the morning (but that's because of our invisibility cloaks) and you don't get to see us much in the evening either because it is bedtime at around 1830hrs these days.  Therefore there is not enough time to lay eggs.  After all, we have cabbids to eat, scratching about in the ground to do and dust baths to take.  Sorry about that.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Customer Complaint: Eggs

Today there were no eggs at all.  Must be the start of the winter ....

What was Mum doing this morning?

She was pekin at some bantams.  Pekin bantams, get it?  She went out to get some food for us and they had some at the supplier which she was rather taken with.  She does know that bantams and hybrids (that's us) don't really go very well together, so we know that she won't be bringing any home soon.  They are rather sweet, but we would probably tread on them.

She got us some more mash and something to clean our house with.  So she then used it to make sure that we are nice and clean for the next week.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Customer Complaint: Invisibility Cloaks

We would like to register a complaint with the manufacturer of Invisibility Cloaks.  This is because Mum saw us this morning.  All of us.  Outside the kitchen door.  The Invisibility Cloaks had worked really well up till that point, convincing Mum that actually we were tucked up in bed.

Mind you, she did give us sweetcorn tonight as a treat.  She bought up the whole lot that had been what she calls 'yellow labelled' in Tesco.  We don't know what this means, but if we get treats because of it, we don't really care!

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Could I have some new feet please?

Riding again today - on Lucy.  I like Lucy.  (Isn't that a TV programme?).  (Oh no, that's I love Lucy).  (And it's nothing to do with horses).  Anyway.

It's going really well at the moment.  I feel really comfortable on a horse now.  The only thing that I need to work on is the whole rising and kicking at the same time.  Hence the request for some new feet, because mine are still not working great on that front at the moment.

For those who thought I was going a bit nuts in the first paragraph, this is the TV programme I was talking about.  And for the record, I am not actually old enough to remember watching it.

Do the chickens wear invisibility cloaks?

I only ask because now when I go to work in the morning, there are no chickens running around at all.

But when I come back, there are three of them.

I wonder whether they are wearing cloaks in the morning and take them off later in the day.

Or if it is simply that it is too dark in the morning for them to come out.

Happy Father's Day

OK we know it isn't.  But Mum had to use the heading so that she could use the following:

It's some kind of holiday in the USA, so a card kind of works.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Cheesy mash

The perfect combination of two things that we like.

Since it also happens to be one of Mum's favourites too it's a complete winner.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Is it Christmas already?

Mum seems to think so.  She came back home with a Christmas Tree and some decorations today.  She was quite pleased with herself.  We did tell her that she was a bit early but she said that she was getting everything ready for her classroom.  And she'd managed to get them all for a bargain price.

As far as we are concerned that's OK.  It means that she can spend more on cabbids.

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Why we like INSET Days

Because it means that Mum comes back early because her school does what they call konteenentall INSET days.  This means that she starts really early and finishes at 1330 and buys cabbids on the way back to give to us.  Extra time with Mum and cabbids.  Bonus!

Mum was quite tired though.  Apparently these days are like camping.  In tents.  ROFL

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Can there be women cardinals?

I think officially the answer is - no.

However, this evening, Mum dressed up like one for her school's Open Evening.

We only know this because she came back this evening and said a few 'Hail Marys' when she shut us in.

We don't think that she is aspiring to this as an official career; she doesn't really look very good in a long red robe ...

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

Harvey Smith, watch out ...

... (or for those younger readers, Robert Smith, watch out ...)

Not really!  But today Mum had the whole arena to herself on Bacardi and did a little show-jumping routine (over poles still, not jumps, but there were five different ones, including one on a diagonal).

She also ... wait for it ... cantered for the first time today.  That was, for her, a scary experience, but she is looking forward to doing it again next week!  She says it's quite bouncy.

She did look funny when she came in though.  Her face was a bit puffy.  Apparently this allergy thing hits quite hard.  It's a good job that she isn't allergic to feathers!  Take your tablets, Mum!

Fried, Egg and Spoon xxx

The Meaning of Life

Of course it's a chicken.  Silly Edward Monkton.  Although the chickens might say that in their opinion it's actually a piece of cheese.  The chair idea is just silly.

Edward Monkton

... is absolutely brilliant.  I don't know what's in his head but it's mad but amazing.  I'd like to have a wall of Edward Monkton in my classroom, but for now, here is one of his awesome ideas ...

Sorry about the rude(ish) word, but I can't get rid of it.  And it is necessary ...